


The Worst Kept Secret

by WhenTheCanonShootsOnlyBlanks



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Everyone knows except Patsy and Delia, F/F, Fluff, How they found out, oblivious gays
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-20 02:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10653120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenTheCanonShootsOnlyBlanks/pseuds/WhenTheCanonShootsOnlyBlanks
Summary: Some secrets remain untold, but that doesn't mean they don't have other ways of coming to light...





	1. Photographic Evidence

**Author's Note:**

> My take on how the whole of Nonnatus might find out about Patsy and Delia and their subsequent quiet support for them, no angst here I am afraid. 
> 
> These will mostly be combined with gay fluff because who doesn't love Patsy and Delia being adorable?
> 
> Enjoy!

‘We’ll bring you back some pork scratching’s,’ Patsy smiled apologetically as she walked past Trixie in the telephone room.

Trixie looked up from her magazine. All other girls had the night off and were going out dancing, leaving her to man the phone at Nonnatus.

‘Just don’t bring me back any stories of how much fun you all had tonight,’ Trixie sighed.

‘Sorry, Trix,’ Delia said, mirroring Patsy’s apologetic smile as she appeared besides the redhead, all dressed up for a night out. Not that Trixie could blame them for leaving her alone; they all worked hard and deserved to have a night out. Besides, Christopher was taking her out to dinner the next evening so she would have her fun then.

‘We’ll tell you all about all the dashing young men who stepped on our toes all evening instead,’ Patsy laughed.

‘As that can’t be construed as fun in any way,’ Delia chuckled.

‘Just go and dance with your dashing young men and leave me to care for the laboring mothers of Poplar,’ Trixie sighed airily, fighting to keep her smile hidden.

‘We’ll gladly go dance again when you have the night off with us next week,’ Patsy smiled.

‘You’ll _only_ get to dance next week if you don’t get a move on,’ Trixie said. ‘Go! I’ll be fine. And I look forward to those pork scratching’s!’ she said as Patsy gave her one last apologetic smile before ushering Delia out of the room.

Trixie sighed as she picked her copy of Vogue back up, silence having returned to Nonnatus as all other midwives left for their evening of dancing.

She read a couple of articles while she waited for the phone to ring and tell her which birth she would be attending that evening. But apparently mothers and babies were in no rush tonight and Trixie finished her magazine without anything eventful happening.

‘Now what?’ Trixie sighed as she closed her magazine. Everyone was out, the girls were dancing, Phyllis was attending her Spanish class and the nuns were in chapel. She was quite alone.

Not knowing what else to do she got up to make herself a cup of tea. Usually when the water started boiling the phone would start ringing, which any other evening would be really annoying but tonight she was itching for something to do and tempting faith by making a cup of tea seemed like the way to go.

She leaned back against the counter as the water slowly came to a boil, surveying the empty kitchen and noticing one of Delia’s books laying out on the table.

The Welsh midwife had a habit of leaving her many books laying around the house, saying she liked having them close at hand. That remark was usually followed by a playful jab from Patsy that Delia just couldn’t read one book at the time like a normal person, that she always had to be reading at least three.

Trixie was tempted to pick up the book just to have something to do but Delia had more in common with Sister Monica Joan than with herself where their tastes in literature were concerned, but it did give her an idea.

A while ago Patsy had promised to loan her a book but had never actually given it to her. And as Trixie hadn’t really had time to read she hadn’t followed up on it, but tonight was a slow night so she might as well give it a try.

She turned the stove down before she trudged up the stairs into Patsy’s and Delia’s room. Idling on the doorstep for a moment, Patsy had changed a lot since first arriving at Nonnatus, but she still didn’t take kindly to others riffling through her stuff. Then again Patsy _had_ already promised to loan her this book so she was sure Patsy would be okay with her barging in to pick it up.

‘Now where did you put it, Nurse Mount?’ Trixie said to herself as she looked around the tidy room the two women kept. Patsy’s rigor for cleanliness apparently even rubbing off on Delia, who didn’t seem terribly bothered by dust or having to retrieve her possessions from every floor of the house.

She halted in front of the bookcase wedged between the wall and a small writing desk, scanning the titles. Most of the books were Delia’s, novels with titles and authors she had never heard of, some medical tomes jammed in between them, no logical ordering system to be found. Until she got to the top shelf.

Trixie chuckled. It seemed Patsy’s small array of books had taken up the highest shelf, leaving Delia’s books on the lower ones, the shelves the shorter midwife could reach easier.

As Patsy’s books were arranged in alphabetic order she quickly found the one she was looking for.

She pulled it from the shelf to take it downstairs with her to read by the telephone, noticing something sliding from between the pages and floating to the ground.

She picked the paper up and flipped it over; it seemed to be a strip of pictures from a photo booth.

Trixie had taken a similar series of pictures with Christopher when he took her to ride the Ferris wheel at the fair a couple of weeks ago. As she looked at the strip of photographs of Patsy and Delia, she realized the two events were _very_ similar.

The first picture was just Patsy and Delia looking at the camera and smiling. Patsy had her eyes closed in the second, obviously laughing at something Delia had said. In the third their heads were bowed very close together, facing each other with soft smiled and the last one…

‘Patience Mount, you dark horse,’ Trixie smiled. ‘Dashing young men, indeed,’ she laughed as she looked at the fourth picture in the row. Her two friends locked at the lips, radiating happiness and love as they kissed.

‘That does explain all the checkered blouses, Patsy,’ Trixie smiled as she tucked the pictures back in the book and put it back in its rightful place on the top shelf.

Her friends’ secret was safe with her, but it would be better for everyone involved if they didn’t speak of it. Secrets had a nasty way of getting out that way, and the last thing she wanted was to hurt either woman. Keeping their relationship a secret like this would most likely hurt enough already.

She would just have to put her efforts to find either woman a boyfriend on hold and focus her attention on Valerie. Apparently the only one of her friends who was still single.

As she made her way downstairs the phone started ringing. Perfect timing, Trixie thought to herself as she answered the phone.


	2. Stolen Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy decides it is time for her to repay a favor long past due.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for the second part! This one has a little more focus on Patsy and Delia and some hurt/comfort.
> 
> Enjoy!

Patsy grinned as she heard the heavy steps of tired feet in NHS-issue shoes come up behind her. It took everything she had not to turn around but where would she be if she couldn’t even live up to her name?

She returned her focus back to milk she was warming, stirring slowly to make sure she didn’t burn it, keeping the pretense alive a little longer.

Delia had been called out to a difficult labor after a long day in the clinic. The Welsh nurse had adapted to district midwifery like a fish to water, like Patsy knew she would, but she also knew that days like today were utterly exhausting, so she was planning to repay a favor that was long past due.

Which was why she was in the kitchen in the middle of the night, wearing her favorite pair of pajamas and warming a quart of milk to spend some time alone with Delia.

‘Pats?’ Delia’s questioning voice sounded through the kitchen as she finally noticed her.

Patsy turned around, smiling brightly at her exhausted looking girlfriend.

‘Did you wait up for me?’ Delia said, a smile forming around her lips as she put her bag down.

‘Everyone needs a hot drink after a long, tiring day,’ Patsy said, drawing Delia into her arms.

‘Do you have anything stronger?’ Delia sighed, melting against the taller woman.

‘Already ahead of you,’ Patsy smiled, tucking an escaped lock of dark hair behind Delia’s ear as she motioned to the bottle of bourbon she had snuck downstairs.

‘You’re an angel,’ Delia said, resting her head on Patsy’s shoulder, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

Patsy rested her cheek against Delia’s soft hair, inhaling the acrid scent of cigarettes Delia didn’t smoke and the underlying scent of her shampoo. It always calmed her to have Delia so close she could smell her.

‘Pats,’ Delia mumbled against her pajama shirt. ‘I think the milk is burning.’

‘Let it,’ Patsy said calmly, not intending on letting Delia go for something as trivial as burning milk.

‘Are you saying the hot drink was a ruse?’ Delia grinned amusedly, tilting her head back to look at Patsy.

‘Well,’ Patsy started, bringing her hand up to the back of Delia’s head, weaving her fingers through the thick strands, ‘everyone is either asleep or out. And it would be a shame to waste such an opportunity.’

Delia grinned, letting Patsy maneuver her back against the counter and pin her in place with her hips.

‘Very cunning, Nurse Mount,’ Delia smiled, her own hands curling around Patsy’s shoulders.

‘Isn’t it just,’ Patsy whispered as she leaned in to capture Delia’s lips with her own. The knowledge that the house was empty making her bold, bold enough to let her tongue dart out and stroke the seam of Delia’s lips.

Delia didn’t need any more coaxing and opened her mouth immediately under Patsy’s insistent assault.

‘Pats,’ Delia said, sounding a little breathless as she pulled away from the kiss. ‘Turn off the gas. We don’t want to start a fire.’

Reluctantly Patsy broke away from Delia, turning off the stove before turning back to Delia.

‘Do you just want the scotch?’ Patsy asked as Delia collapsed on a chair, kicking off her shoes, stretching her feet and wiggling her toes.

Delia nodded, closing her eyes and leaning back in her chair as Patsy poured them two glasses, washing the burned milk down the drain.

‘You look exhausted, love,’ Patsy said, leaning against the side of the table, stroking Delia’s cheek with the back of her hand.

‘I am. I am absolutely drained. First clinic and then spending five hours delivering the baby of a woman who did not trust me. Second guessing everything I did.’

‘I am sorry, darling,’ Patsy smiled ruefully. Trust was hard-earned in a tightknit community like Poplar, and Delia was still very green and the mothers knew it. ‘It will get better. You’re a good midwife, Delia.’

‘Am I?’ Delia said, sounding more insecure than Patsy had ever heard her sound, her blue eyes shimmering.

‘Yes, Delia, you are,’ Patsy said, kneeling down at Delia’s side, clasping the brunette’s hands between her own. ‘You passed all your exams with exceptional grades. You once helped delivered a baby over the phone without any training. You are a great midwife, Deels. Sister Julienne doesn’t doubt that, Nurse Crane doesn’t doubt that. They trust you enough to send you out on your own. It will just take some time for the mothers of Poplar to realize it too.’

Delia started to smile, her thumb brushing against Patsy’s cheekbone. ‘You are really great at cheering me up, you know?’

‘Well, you are very good at cheering me up when I need it,’ Patsy smiled, getting back up to her feet, pulling Delia up with her.

Delia smiled, now her turn to back Patsy up against the nearest surface.

‘Thank you for waiting up for me,’ Delia breathed, her hands coming to rest on Patsy’s hips.

‘Of course. I love you,’ Patsy smiled, pulling Delia closer against her by the nape of her neck.

‘I love you too,’ Delia breathed, leaning in to steal another kiss from Patsy, deepening it soon after, Patsy having the feeling that cheered her girlfriend up a lot too.

They kissed until they were both breathless, and then they started all over again, secure in the knowledge they were alone.

Only for the past couple of minutes they hadn’t been.

Sister Mary Cynthia had woken up a little while ago and gone down to the kitchen hoping to warm up some milk so she could go back to sleep. Only to hear hushed voices in the kitchen, she paused for a moment, not wanting to interrupt what sounded like a serious conversation between Patsy and Delia

Once the voices quieted down she thought it was safe to enter, only to find the two women locked in an intimate embrace.

She gasped softly in surprise and stepped out of view before they could see her. Needing a moment to process what just happened. A soft smile slowly spreading across her face. She knew that her God was not a vengeful one, He had taught her to love and not to judge. And after what she had just overheard, she knew that Patsy and Delia loved each other just as deeply as a man and a woman could. So she could be nothing but happy for her friends, who had been happy for her when she found her purpose of in life, the least she could do was return the favor.

She left the two women in peace and made her way to the chapel to pray for them. Not for their souls, they didn’t need saving, but for their happiness. Because not everyone would accept their relationship if they found out about it.


	3. Shared Interests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valerie enjoys her night off and runs into some familiar faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this has been written before, but I honestly couldn't imagine a better way for Valerie to find out about Patsy and Delia.  
> Some sad backstory included because we know very little about Val and I wanted to explore her character a little.
> 
> Enjoy!

Valerie signaled the bartender for another drink. It was her night off and she had decided to spent it at a place she hadn’t dared go since rejoining her former profession as a nurse and midwife. She hadn’t planned on going back here, too afraid of somehow being recognized and outed for what she was: queer.

As a bartender, she could have possibly gotten away with it, found a job here if she was fired from the Black Sails. But bartending had always been something temporary for her. If she was found out now, as a nurse, she would never be able to practice anywhere ever again, which was a risk she hadn’t wanted to take. But eventually the overwhelming loneliness had won out.

Everyone at Nonnatus was lovely and she would call all the midwives her friends, but she never felt completely at home with them. Her secret weighing too heavily on her, having no one to share it with. The women here understood, they were like her. Spending the night at Gateways always gave her the sense of belonging she was so desperately craving.

She got to dance with a couple of women, share a few laughs over drinks, tell stories and flirt a little. Hoping to find her someone special.

Her mother had been pestering her to find a man since she was a teenager, going as far to set her up with boys she thought suitable. Valerie hadn’t had the heart even then to tell her mother she would never be interested in any of the boys she picked for her, especially since Carol Brown from next door had told her she had pretty eyes and kissed her on the cheek.

June Dyer hadn’t been happy at all when at 19 years old her daughter decided to join the army as a nurse. War was no place for a woman, especially no place to find a man, her mother thought. But Valerie had persisted, even if lying to her mother had never gotten any easier.

It was in the army she had found the greatest sense of freedom she ever had, and where she met Emma.

Oh god Emma.

Emma looked too fine and delicate for the army, her blonde hair shining like spun gold, her eyes soft and warm and so deep Valerie had always felt like she could drown in them. But her appearance was no indication of her skills. Valerie had never met anyone smarted, braver or tougher than Emma.

Emma was the one who got them all through difficult nights at the front. Nights when the smell of blood was never from the air and no matter what they seemed to do, it never was enough to save the men that were brought in.

Valerie had love Emma, and Emma had loved her, truly loved her. In the quiet moments, Valerie had even dared to imagine a future of stolen kisses and shared flats with the blonde. They could never have what other couples had, but it would be enough. Valerie knew that it would be enough.

But that dream for the future got rudely interrupted when Emma drove her ambulance to the front lines one night and didn’t return.

Landmine, was the only answer she got when she asked her superiors what had happened.

She hadn’t been able to properly grieve Emma until the war ended and she was shipped back home. The pain of loss had faded over time, but the memory of Emma’s mischievous smile and the love they shared would never be forgotten. She hadn’t met a girl since who could make her feel like Emma had. But she held out hope that one day she would.

Which was why she had summoned some of Emma’s bravery tonight and gone back to Gateways Club.

She picked her freshened up drink off the bar and spun around on her stool, watching the women around the club dance and talk and smile. All of them safe in the knowledge that they could be themselves here.

Valerie had just made eye contact with a rather attractive blonde across the room and was about to go say hello when a flash of red on the stairs leading down into the club caught her attention.

For a moment her heart stopped; her worst fear had just come to pass, someone she knew had just entered the club. More specifically, Nurse Mount, or Patsy as the statuesque redhead preferred to be known.

They hadn’t really gotten to know each other yet, Patsy had only returned to Nonnatus a couple of weeks ago and with Barbara away on honeymoon they had been working around the clock and hadn’t had much time to socialize.

It took a few moments of paralyzing fear for Valerie to realize that Patsy being here wasn’t a thing to be feared. That she even knew where to find the club could only mean one thing: Patsy was like her.

That realization was only confirmed when a second familiar face entered the club. It seemed Patsy hadn’t come alone; Delia following right on her heels.

The brunette laughing and smiling as she grabbed Patsy’s hand and let the taller midwife pull her onto the dancefloor.

Valerie’s fear subsided and she was now left wondering how she hadn’t realized before now that Patsy and Delia were a couple.

Of course, there was the obvious fact that she had never really seen them together, Patsy having only returned to Nonnatus a little while ago. But she knew Delia, and even knew, to some extent, how much Delia had missed Patsy. But it wasn’t until she saw them dancing together here in the dimly lit cellar of Gateways that she put two and two together.

She watched them dance for a while before deciding it felt a little too much like she was spying on them and turned back to her drink instead.

Valerie wondered if she should go over to them and say hello, or if she should sneak out before they saw her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want them to see her here, she knew they wouldn’t say anything. Going off the love stricken looks they were giving each other, they very much knew the common factor of the club’s clientele. But it had always just been _her_ secret, not something she had shared with any of her friends and she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

Although, maybe that was exactly what she needed. Someone who knew her secret, and more importantly, someone who _understood_ it.

Deciding that since the cat was already halfway out of the bag she might as well help it out.

She got the attention of the bartender and ordered two glasses of scotch, sending them over to Delia and Patsy with her compliments.

Delia caught her eye first, the look of confusion on her face making way for shock and stunned surprise. The fear that they’d been discovered obviously at the forefront of the Welsh nurse’s mind.

In the hope of quenching that same fear Valerie had felt when she first noticed them, she raised her glass and smiled. Nodding at the both of them before turning back around in her seat.

She didn’t go over to talk with them, there would be time for that later, right now she had her eye on a dance with the pretty blonde from before.

A few looks between her and her colleagues were exchanged over the course of the night, most of them accompanied with a smile. It was always nice to have something in common with someone, and Valerie felt like she had just gained two great friends. She couldn’t have imagined a better night off.


	4. Nighttime Visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unanswered phone call reveals more of the truth than Sister Julienne had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My exams are done (yay!), so now I can fully focus on writing again (double yay!)  
> Thank you all for your kind comments and continued support of this fic, it means the world!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter too!

Sister Julienne lifted the cup of now tepid tea to her lips. Managing the whole of Nonnatus house and the clinic was always challenging. Figuring out who was needed where and for what, taking up most of her evenings. Tonight was no different, even if the load had gotten a little lighter since Nurse Dyer and Nurse Busby joined their ranks. But if she was being honest, they needed even more hands than they had now.

The population in their district was ever increasing, more people fitting into the new flats the council was building. Sometimes Sister Julienne wondered how long they would be able to manage. More people meant more care was needed and she wasn’t sure if the nine of them could keep up with the ever-growing demand.

That worry was momentarily pushed from her mind when the phone started ringing. An event far from unusual at Nonnatus, but what was unusual was that it kept ringing.

Sister Julienne frowned. She seemed to recall Nurse Mount’s name being on top of the list for tonight. Hearing no efforts being made by anyone to answer the still urgently ringing phone she got up from behind her desk and walked down the hallway to pick it up herself.

She rattled off the standard formula, ‘Nonnatus House, Sister Julienne speaking.’

She took down the information of the mother in need and calmed the frantic father by saying a midwife would be there shortly.

Checking the chalkboard by the phone she saw that it was indeed Nurse Mount who was first on call, only nowhere to be seen.

Sister Julienne checked the living room for any sign of Nurse Mount, instead finding it abandoned. There was no sign of anyone on the ground floor so the nun walked up the stairs, figuring the redheaded nurse might simply not have heard the telephone from her room on the first floor.

As she walked past Nurse Franklin and Nurse Dyer’s room she heard soft music and laughing, suspecting that maybe Nurse Mount had joined her friends she knocked on that door first. The music turning down and Nurse Franklin appearing in the doorway moment later.

‘Were we being too loud again, Sister?’ Nurse Franklin asked.

‘Not at all,’ Sister Julienne smiled. ‘I was wondering if Nurse Mount was here, the phone just rang and she didn’t answer.’

‘No Patsy isn’t here. She said she was afraid she wouldn’t hear the phone if we were playing music, so she declined our offer and said she was going to pick up a book from her room to read downstairs.’

‘I will go check her room then,’ Sister Julienne said. ‘Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight, Sister,’ Nurse Franklin said as she closed the door, the faint music starting up again as she walked over to the room Nurse Mount shared with Nurse Busby.

She knocked on the door, eliciting no response from its occupants, who by the best of Sister Julienne’s knowledge should both be there.

After knocking again and getting no response, she slowly pushed open the door. She would normally never walk into anyone’s room here at Nonnatus without invitation, but worry for the young midwife was starting to manifest at the edges of her mind. It would not be the first time someone missed a shift because they were in trouble. Nurse Franklin’s past struggles with the bottle came to mind.

Nurse Julienne felt her worry ease after finding both women asleep on top of the covers in their beds, illuminated by a single bedside lamp. Nurse Mount in full uniform and Nurse Busby in a pair of striped pajamas.

It seems the redheaded nurse had nodded off while waiting for the phone to ring, and after the busy day they all just had, Sister Julienne couldn’t blame her. She was about to call out Nurse Mount’s name when she noticed something odd about the position the two women were in.

In the soft light of the room she could just make out the linked hands spanning the small gap between their beds.

Careful to not make any noise she backed out of the room, closing the door.

It seemed that even in sleep the two women sought each other out. Sister Julienne might be old but she wasn’t blind and neither was she oblivious. She knew that the bond Nurse Mount and Nurse Busby shared was not a conventional one.

She had had her suspicions for a while, after Nurse Busby’s accident Nurse Mount had become more withdrawn, like she had been when she had first joined their ranks. Nurse Mount was a happier person when Nurse Busby was around.

So when it seemed that Nurse Busby would disappear back to Wales for good, she had offered the young nurse a place here in Nonnatus.

Since Nurse Busby had started living at the convent there had been a few other instances in which she had suspected the bond between the two women went deeper than mere friendship, Nurse Mount’s departure to Hong Kong chiefly amongst them.

She had always turned a blind eye to them, what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt them. They were good nurses and kind, thoughtful women. Their only crime was loving someone society told them they could not love. Sister Julienne had never taken issue with it herself. But in her position at Nonnatus she would be expected to act if something untoward ever happened under her roof. So a blind eye was all she could offer the two women sleeping in the room behind the oaken door.

Not wanting to catch the two women in an intimate moment and make them uncomfortable, she knocked again, much louder this time.

‘Nurse Mount?’ she said, finally hearing some stumbling and hushed whispers on the other side of the door.

‘I am so sorry, Sister,’ Nurse Mount said as she appeared in the doorway, looking suitably apologetic. ‘I must have dozed off. Was there a call?’

‘There was, but if you leave right now no harm will be done. Mrs. Jones, Menston street,’ Sister Julienne said, stepping to the side to let the flustered nurse pass.

‘Once again, my apologies, Sister,’ Nurse Mount said as she rushed past her towards the clinical room to pick up her bag.

Sister Julienne smiled to herself as she heard the front door open and close a little later, signaling that Nurse Mount was finally on her way.

The revelation about the depth of the young women’s relationship hadn’t changed anything about life at Nonnatus; babies would continue to be born and nurses would continue to assist them. Their personal lives of no consequence.

Love in any form was a magical thing and she knew she could do nothing to stop it, even if she had wanted to. She would just have to continue to keep her eye on them, like she did on all women in her employ, and sometimes when the situation called for it, to look away.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you want to read about Patsy and Delia's date to the fair, I am working on that too but impending exams are slowing me down. So it might be a while.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this little piece of fluff!
> 
> Comments are exceptionally welcome!
> 
> You can always find me on tumblr [writersblockisabitch](http://writersblockisabitch.tumblr.com)


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